Media Flaws

Unfortunately I do not subscribe to suburban community reads. So I was lucky to have a friend alert me on some sarcastic, overly-zealous, obsessively name-dropping Claremont resident who had decided to board the wrong bus – one that was headed to SAB.

The resident, only known as Cath Boon from Claremont, writes:

What causes smell at SAB? Unathi Kondile writes that"Newlands residents face horrendous challenges such as vuvuzelas, beer-guzzling rugby fans, abusive cricketers and hideous criminal forces" (Tatler, February, 8). Yet he complains only of the "various refinery fumes" from the brewery! As Unathi Kondile has only lived in Newlands for five years, and the causes of the "horrendous chal­lenges" - the rugby and cricket grounds and the brew­ery, have been there for decades, (in the case of the brewery since the 1800s) - why on earth did he move there in the first place? SAB's response was informa­tive Unathi Kondile has, of course, two choices as well as wanting a couple of cases of their products free. Stay or go, matey.

There are so few soccer matches at Newlands that the vuvuzelas can't be that much of a "horrendous challenge". I'm a huge rugby fan, like cricket and would give my eye, teeth to be able to afford to live in Newlands, rather than on the wrong side of the tracks shaped by criminal and anti-social behaviour, and in some cases fear for our lives, about rob­bery, rape, pillage and the everyday hijackings.

Unathi Kondile must consider himself among the extremely fortunate if his only concern, apart from the sports supporters, is the malt from the hops creating "a horrendous challenge" to his nose.

PS. I wonder where he lived before!

Ok, maybe my cries were a bit benign … and I’ll only answer one thing in this letter: “I wonder where he lived before!?” I think we all know the answer to this - you put me there, so why ask?! - but I miraculously struggled and struggled to gain access or move into other parts of my native land which are now littered with your 'new' establishments (SABs) and envy-enducing properties.