Assessment is such a huge issue in education - perhaps always has been, but seems to be so especially now. I'm always intrigued at hearing how departments manage assessment. There are some academics who have a policy of never marking out of 100%, arguing that no-one can get everything (this is, of course, most common in the Humanities and some social sciences). Others argue that assessment tasks are contextual, limited and bounded, and so it is possible - if difficult - to achieve a 100% mark. My son, now a very successful exploration geologist, swore blind right through his BSc that 51% was indicative of too much effort. Until he needed 60% to get into honours, and his resulting marks gave him options in chemistry and geology. Now a senior geologist, earning more than his academic parents combined - he still wryly recalls that philosophy which upset his lecturers so VERY much, and yet which paid off so handsomely in great memories of university life roundly, and well lived. His sister fought for every distinction, achieving them in all three degrees and a PgDip, and now looks back on academe with far less happy memories.  

Every so often though tests crop up where really lowest marks are what count. The last time this was such a biggie for me was when I was assessed for suitability for a heart transplant. I had to fail every test to qualify. Luckily (for me at any rate) I was well prepared for this (but a less than glowing academic career, in part due to dyslexia, in part due to disinterest) - and I successfully failed everything from echo scans, breathing into tubes, ECGs - the lot. Now ten years later, I have just been back for another set of tests. And my goal was pretty much as good as ever: a 0 score was about right.

 X-rays don't count really - they're a kind of binary - there's something there / there's not. Blood tests too: less binary, but really - not a great challenge. The cardiac biopsy however, now that really is fun. This is done by passing tubes up the femoral vein and artery - mine are pretty scarred from 11 years of this, and the artery walls kind-scrunch up when the catheter goes in (or rather, won't go in). Then there's the delights of ectopics every time a valve is touched, and 'warm-all-over' flush of angiogram contrast - and then the highlight of having pieces nipped out of various parts of your heart. (Brings back memories of Queen: "Take a piece of my heart...." - always try and get the cardiologists to play that while they're hacking away. Only one every has.)  Now here the goal is to get a 0 score on the path report for the biopsy - no sign of rejection. 

Yesterday I did that. And man, it feels good. Clear arteries, heart circulation clear, chamber pressures all good - and a big, round, curvaceous,  plump 0 for rejection.  I'll never look at that number in the same way again. You can have your 1's, 2's 3's and (sadly 4's) - me, I'm now really relaxing in the world of zero's. And thankful to be there.

So, to the previous owner of my heart - thanks for a really good gift of life. And yes, unashamed schmaltz.