Watchblog

So ok, I’m female, and would have no clue what it’s like to fill a man’s shoes. But in my defence, I’ve listened to my girlfriends bitch and moan, and have read women’s magazines just about all my life. So by using all female complaints ever as a tool for judgment, I’ve decided on five areas in which life may be considerably easier for the male species:

1) Body issues. Not that I’m assuming males don’t have any such concerns, but men don’t obsess nearly as much as women do about their bodies. Whether it involves being too fat, too skinny, too dimpley, wrinkley, flabby, frizzy… (the list goes on), men just don’t care whether their butt looks big in [this] or their legs look gangly in [that]. Also, men (arguably) tend to age more gracefully than women, so they never have to worry about “getting rid of those fine lines and wrinkles” or “combating the 7 signs of ageing”.

2) Similarly, men don’t have to waste their time with annoying trivialities like shaving their legs, waxing or plucking, applying make-up or styling their hair. Besides a quick shave and a slathering of hair wax, men just don’t give a bother about the fuzz on their legs or the shine emitting from their T-zone.

3) On the topic of discomfort, male clothing is so much more uncomplicated than women’s. Whether this discomfort involves squirming around in undergarments consisting of wires and strings, teetering on pointed stilettos that could effectively double as weapons, or battling for air in a jeans 2 sizes too small, women endure all kinds of pain for the purpose of “looking good”. Men don’t have to resort to any such thing. Even with regard to choice: Come on, how hard can it be for a man to match pants with a suitable top every morning? In comparison to the vast array of options women have to sift through, of course.

4) And then… yes, more discomfort: menstruation and menopause, along with its pains and mood swings. But to make things worse, even though ironically both terms begin with “men”, it is two concepts most men refuse to hear anything about. With women having to endure typical male comments like “Ooh, someone’s moody, it must be that time of the month again” or “Do they have to flight this tampon ad while I’m having my breakfast?”, I think dealing with men’s attitudes might just be more discomforting (annoying) than the female cycle itself.

5) And finally, men do not have to be harassed by unwanted looks/comments/pick-up lines from the opposite sex every time they enter a public place. In a similar frame of thought, men are taken more seriously in the professional world and aren’t judged by their looks nearly as much as women are.

Having said all of this, I still have to say, personally, that I wouldn’t swap places with any man. No offence at all to the male population, it’s just that I love being female and would be able to draw up a list of the reasons why just as easily.

I do also realize that I have generalised and stereotyped heavily in this post, so if anyone would like to contest or add to the list, I’d be delighted to hear what you think. Also, it would be highly entertaining if a male blogger could draw up a list of why females have it easier, because – and big up to all males for this – men hardly ever complain!

Yes, it is a reality for some.

Research has concluded that the disease is common among students. Those under pressure from what experts are calling “Looming Assignment-Induced Stress”, or LAIS-iness, are especially susceptible to contracting the virus.

Once infected, the victim may experience a “nagging” sensation. This is then followed by an onset of discomfort and restlessness, which can only be relieved by performing one or more attention-diverting activities. These may include seemingly harmless actions such as conversing over the telephone, watching what one would otherwise consider to be an uninteresting television programme, or checking one’s e-mail/cell phone inbox, (again), just in case.

Furthermore, the victim may begin to suffer from “Warped Prioritisation”, or WP, where cumbersome activities such as cooking, gardening, personal/pet grooming, and household chores may suddenly seem exceedingly urgent in comparison to the activity the sufferer may be wanting to avoid. In these ways, experts have concluded, the disorder may lead to related illnesses such as OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). In extreme instances, the victim may even diagnose himself/herself with non-existent illnesses in an attempt to justify their LAIS-iness to themselves and to others.

If you find yourself suffering from one or more of the abovementioned symptoms, it is likely that you have been hit by PCD. Unfortunately, since the disease has only just been discovered, there is no cure known to man as yet.

However, do not despair, for you have reached the very first support line for PCD-sufferers. Join me, a PCD victim, HERE at the P.A. (Procrastinators Anonymous), and let your voice be heard. For ongoing support, feel free to return to this site whenever you feel yourself coming down with another bout of LAIS-iness.