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mail meever felt an inexplicable pain, unable to find the cause of it, one that makes your entire body ache. with me: majority of the time it was an emotional pain, the pain of the heart is far more painful than any other that i have experienced. and allowed myself to experience the same hurt, or an even worse one. why is it that so many of us allow ourselves to be constantly hurt by others, people that we think we love?
when you are in love you are often caught up in a world of happiness sometimes only ever to stay a fairytale world, one that would never allow the thought of a not so happy ending to occur.. one that doesn’t allow the reality of the situation to kick in. blinded by your false hope of happiness with someone who only ever hurts you.
why is it that we allow this to happen, willing to sacrifice our eternal happiness for a moment of joy, which is usually drowning in a sea of pain and hurt caused by the same person who can only offer one moment of happiness. I’m not sure about males but i know of countless female friends, including myself who allowed themselves to get hurt, allowing their partner to walk all over them and being used, taken advantage of. most of the time we realize what is happening to us, but we are way too scared to admit to ourselves that we know what is happening. but why, why did i allow myself to be hurt for over 3 years by the same guy. i tried convincing myself that things would change, that he would become the person that he was when we started dating. but as time went on, the situation just got worse. until i was completely bitter towards him, my feelings on relationships almost destroyed into being bitter.
i ignored that little voice in my head, the one that told me, that urged me, that pleaded with me to leave him before he could destroy my passion of love forever. thankfully that little voice found a micro-phone, and i heard it loud and clear, and finally could see what was happening. i left him, and now i am insanely happy and in a new relationship, but the effects that my past has on me is still felt from time to time. and it still hurts, the memories feel as if they were experienced just yesterday.
ladies out there, even the men. never allow yourself to stay in a relationship that is bringing you pain, don't ignore that little voice, think of it as your gaurdian angel trying to help you. you do not deserve to be hurt by anyone, no one does. and by staying with someone who doesn’t treat you the way you should be treated, it could be preventing you from finding that someone who will treat you like their king or queen. treating you the way you should be treated. don't hang on to something that should be let go, all you might be doing is prolonging the process, and allowing yourself to get hurt. it might seem hard but one day when you are looking back in time, you'll realize that you are much better off without the person causing you all of this pain. sometimes it is even better being alone, cause you won't cause yourself pain.
goodluck to anyone who is in such situation.
mwah
sweety, you are SO right, you've spoken so wisely...
i am sure you have helped many people, and you're right, it's better to be alone and love yourself than be with someone that is constantly hurting you and bringing you down. Because the most important person in your life is you. I'm so glad that you are so happy right now, and this blog helped me, i'm going to start listening to my guardian angel... :-)
Posted by Faiza — 10 Sep 2007, 19:44
i was in the exact same position and what you're saying is true; though it just doesn't seem to occur to you at the time, you know? (i think people call that denial!) except i didn't get out quick enough -- my views on relationships are the same but i still just would rather not have one if there was any doubt that the person is going to stay 100% respectful. I'm not into "hooking up" and all of that casual shit, which is what most guys are after anyway... which strangely enough doesn't bother me because it means i won't have to get into anything. i'll probably become a spinster. good men are hard to come by!!
Posted by spinster to be — 10 Sep 2007, 19:44
i mean i can totally relate to your situation, bt i saw the signs and still allowed myself to stay hoping that things would get better, that he would see one day how much he was hurting me and try change things for the both of us...its hell waking up everyday trying to find ways to make things bearable for that very person who constantly walks all over you!!bt...it's that bitter sweet thing called love...makes you see and believe things that are not really there, makes us insanely dellusional. im hoping to one day ind the courage to finally walk away from this relationship and still find happiness with someone else without ever looking back on what i thought i had...
holla
Posted by nthabi — 10 Sep 2007, 19:44
Mostly it's girls that go through these things. Guys also go through them but majority is the girls.You know what they say "MAJORITY RULES." I always use to wear the pence in my relationships but it's things like this that made me stop dating. I'm not saying that people should stop dating.If you're strong enough, go for it, but at the end of the day you will get hurt. I always thought that I was strong in everything, clearly I was wrong, relationships and I just don't see eye to eye and I live a very happy life.
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